POOR BODY IMAGE IS NOT YOUR FAULT

A client of mine recently expressed how upset she was with herself that she didn't like her body. She knows women who look like her who are comfortable in their skin, so what's wrong with her that she just can't figure it out....

I completely understand that inclination to get down on ourselves and beat ourselves up, we've been trained to do this after all... how many of you feel like when a diet doesn't work out, you've failed?

I rest my case.

The thing is, struggling with poor body image is not another you can't just seem to get right...

Consider for a minute that not liking your body is actually a common reaction to the the world we live in that continually tells us naturally occurring parts of our body (cellulite, stretch marks, fat cells) are gross and we should try to get rid of them at all costs.

The reality is our society does treat people differently on the basis of size and appearance and awards social currency to those who fit the thin/beauty ideal.

Part of the healing process is to shift the way we view the problem...

Away from: What is wrong with me that I can't just like my body, or lose the weight, or stop emotionally eating or whatever...

To: How are people, myself included, genuinely treated differently on the basis of size and appearance. How does this hierarchy of bodies effect me mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually? How can I respond to this hierarchy of bodies and my own negative self-talk in more self-loving ways?

When we properly identify the problem (the culture) we can properly identify the solution.

And since you and your body are not the problem, the solution to this starts to look differently.

We no longer need to try to change our bodies to fit into the arbitrary standards, rather we're better off fighting against the oppressive culture that praises some bodies while discriminating against others.

Let's change the world, for you and all women, because our bodies are fine just the way they are!

xo C

THE PROBLEM WITH COMPLIMENTS #23 LYBP

Meet Emma!

My wildly talented, creative, curious, intelligent, playful, kind niece. Sure, she is only 7 months old, but she radiates these traits.

Ever since she was born, I have become increasingly aware of my natural inclination to want to comment on her cuteness (I mean she is cute af).

And while it is a compliment, I can't deny my inner guidance system setting off alarm bells telling me to comment on ANYTHING BUT HER APPEARANCE.

Given the reality of our world, girls are bombarded with messages of beauty from the minute they pop out of the womb:

"oh you look so pretty"

"your dress and bow are so cute"

This follows us throughout our lives, where appearances that fit the current ideal are highly regarded and praised. Which is why we go to such great lengths to achieve them.

And when we feel like we don’t live up to the arbitrary standards, our self-worth takes a nose dive.

What I have discovered is that complimenting appearance, and especially weight loss, even if well-intentioned, can cause more harm than good in the long run.

Someone might "look good" because they've lost weight but we have no way of knowing what led to that weight loss.

It could be from disordered eating, restriction or taking diet pills and that compliment is positively reinforcing unhealthy behaviors.

It's possible that person is dealing with an illness, like cancer or an autoimmune disease so the weight-loss is reflective of a decrease in health.

Not all weight loss is good. Not all weight gain is bad.

For many women, what is commented on the most is their appearance and it leaves most of us, myself included, continuing to believe in the lie that that’s where our true value lies, and that is simply not the case.

On Episode 23 of the LOVE YOUR BOD POD, I dive into compliments and when they can do more harm than good.

And I challenge you to compliment your friends and family on anything but appearance!

Give it a listen! Then I'd love to hear your thoughts, be sure to reach out on IG.

BMI - Stands for Bullshit Must Ignore

THE BMI SCALE IS LITERAL BULLSHIT.

I've thought long and hard about this to make sure that I can confidently proclaim such a bold statement.

I can. It's bullshit.

Using it to determine the health of an individual is greatly flawed because it's based on the assumption that all bodies at the same height will not only look exactly the same but that there is a weight range at which they are all healthy.

Which is false, we are all individually unique with different set point weights.

It completely fails to acknowledge the very REALITY of body diversity.

HELLO- humans are not Vitamix blenders. Two people who are the same height can have wildly different body shapes/sizes.

Here are some important things to consider about the BMI Scale:

It fails to acknowledge the relationship between bone density/muscle mass/fat cell composition rendering it physiologically wrong.

People within the "overweight" category are actually the healthiest group (shocker!)

There are millions of people who fall within the "Obese" category who are metabolically healthy (my boyfriend and best friend included so don't @ me)

Someone can be within the "normal" range and still have any disease associated with fatness including diabetes & heart disease & cancer. Duh.

It completely leaves MENTAL HEALTH out of the equation.

On a personal level, when I was struggling with my eating disorder, I was told by my GP at the time that it couldn't be that serious (I wanted a diagnosis to get treatment) because I was so "healthy" (referring to my weight and the way I looked) yet I was restricting, bingeing, purging and contemplating suicide.... how is any of that healthy?

The BMI pretty much misses the mark on every account.

It's a gross generalization and should not be used in medicine or to determine someones health care premiums which massively contributes to fatphobia and weight stigma.

Another reason this is so harmful is that it perpetuates the myth that there is a weight at which we SHOULD be, which is often different than where we are at, and a lot of us develop restrictive & rebellious eating behaviors trying to fit into the predetermined mold created by a society that thinks we should all be thin.

IT'S BEYOND BULLSHIT. It's unethical.

The BMI was invented over 200 yrs ago as a quick observational tool to compare body size across populations. You guys... it is essentially a 200 yr old LIFE HACK! Not exactly sure we should use life hacks in health care... do you?

xo C