4-STEP PROCESS FOR CREATING SOUL GOALS [#LYBP #19]

Today on the Love Your Bod Pod I share with you my 4-step process for creating soul goals. Goals that are generated from a place of Authentic Inspiration and not Shameful Obligation.

When we create goals from a place of authentic inspiration we easily accomplish what we set out to do and have fun in the process. When goals are created from a place of shameful obligation we typically struggle to make time for them, only care about the end result and often struggle through out the process.

An authentically inspired goal is generated from a loving and genuine place of wanting to create and shift an area of our lives. It's sourced from self-care and self-love. It’s driven by a desire to challenge ourselves, grow as a person, expand past our edges and seep out of our comfort zone. It leaves us feeling excited, invigorated, and rich with a sense of possibility. It’s something we want to do.

A goal created from a place of shameful obligation is surrounded by a cloud of “I’m not good enough.” It is generated from a place of seeking validation, people pleasing and self-control. It’s driven by the desire to “fix” what we see as wrong or broken about ourselves and our lives and often has an air of needing to prove our worth. It leaves us feeling tired, uninspired, and infused with guilt when not working towards it. It's something we feel we have to do.

An authentically inspired goal is something we feel we are worthy and deserving of.

A shamefully obligated goal is something we feel we have to accomplish first to become worthy and deserving.

ONE:

First thing to do is to make a list of the 20 things you have accomplished in the last year, and you can include that last two or three years in this list if you’d like but I would encourage you to stretch yourself and try to find 20 things from the last year that you are truly proud of.

The goal here is to not only build some self-efficacy by seeing how far you’ve come, but to also get a sense of what you have completed and saw through to the end.

This can be conversations with people in your field or potential field, like informational interviews, or to build relationships and network.

It can be a skill like cooking, guitar or exercising like your yoga practice.

It can be work or school related, it can be repairing a relationship with a friend or leaving an abusive relationship with a partner.

It can be saying no to parties and yes to nights in, or it can be putting yourself out there on dates, or talking to that cute guy or it can be books you've read.

Literally just things that you are proud of that you did in the last year.

It’s a great way to re-presence yourself to everything you have accomplished.

TWO:

Take a minute or two for each thing on your list and check in with each thing you accomplished to see what was driving your action. Shameful Obligation or Authentic Inspiration

Questions to ask yourself to determine the source of each thing:

What was I hoping to feel by accomplishing this? Am I feeling that way?

Was this a goal that I day dreamed about? Or was it something someone told me to do or said I needed to do?

While in the process of accomplishing it, did I feel like I had to force myself to take action? Or was I inspired to work on it?

Really reflect and be honest with yourself here.

THREE:

Generate some new goals for 2019 from a place of authentic inspiration. Really dig deep here and tune in. Is this ego driven or heart based?

Think about career, education, health (perhaps from the four body perspective-mental, emotional, physical, spiritual), relationship with food, body image, personal like travel, relationships or creative.

Then decide if any of them have a timeline or deadline or if they are just general goals.

For the ones that are more timely, create a rough timeline. I am always pretty loose with mine, I give myself a two week window, like I want this done within the first two weeks of January or the last two weeks of March. Because you know..., life happens and things pretty much always take longer than expected.

Here are some questions to ask yourself while making goals for the new year to determine the roots:

Ask yourself is this goal rooted in self-care or self-control? Am I taking care of myself or trying to control myself?

Is this goal generated from self-love or self-loathing?

Is it sourced from a sense of inherent worthiness or my sense of unworthiness?

Do I feel deserving of this goal or do I feel like I am not enough if I don’t accomplish it?

Who is this goal for?

Am I excited about the journey or just fixated on the end result?

Am I wanting to grow or wanting to be fixed?

Is this goal about creating a transformation in my life or am I seeking external validation?

Am I wanting to expand past my comfort zone or trying to stay or get more comfortable?

Ask yourself these questions and see what comes up.

FOUR:

Vision board that shit!

Manifest it, bring it to life, envision yourself embodying the energy to attract what you want knowing that when you come from authentic inspiration, you can’t help but take loving action towards accomplishing it.

Then share those goals!

I believe declaring our goals out loud and sharing them with others brings them more to life, you are showing up and letting the big U know that you mean business.

So I encourage you to declare and share your goals as well, so please do so and be sure to tag me on IG so I can share in your manifestation and goal setting process.

Check out the episode on iTunes or where ever you listen to podcasts.

xo C

HARISSA, CARAMELIZED ONION, KALE & CHEDDAR GRILLED CHEESE (WITH DAIYA FOODS)

*sponsored by Daiya Foods, all opinions are my own

YUM CITY!

Population: this sandwich.

Back in my eating disorder days, I would not have been able to enjoy a grilled cheese sandwich without making it mean that I ruined my day of eating because #carbs. I was so afraid of them and was always trying to avoid them unless I was in the middle of a binge. In which case I was falling face first into them.

These days, I can eat bread and it's no big deal. I don't put too much thought into it nor do I give it much meaning past I had some bread. I practice what I call "Metaphorical Period" (more on that here)

Since I am not afraid of carbs anymore, I have so much more headspace to think about other more important things. Including but not limited to: what ingredients would make the most delicious grilled cheese ever...

The possibilities are endless, and I have several grilled cheese recipes on the blog, but this one might be my new favorite.

It has bitter kale, sweet caramelized onions, spicy acidic harissa, and it is perfectly tied together with savory and creamy Cheddar Style Slices from Daiya Foods,

Between two pieces of sourdough bread and friends I think we just created a mouth party!

Here is how to make it.

Serves one bomb ass grilled cheese

Ingredients:

• coconut oil

• 1/4 small yellow or white onion, thinly sliced

• 1 big handful chopped kale

• butter (vegan or reg)

• 2 pieces of bread (I used sourdough)

• 2-3 slices Daiya Cheddar Style Slices

• 1 tbsp harissa, store bought, I like trader joes (optional, but yummo)

Directions:

In a skillet, over low heat, melt oil. Then add the onions, stir often over low heat until caramelized and brown. This takes a long time like 15 mins or so, low and slow is the name of the game with caramelizing onions. Do this first and then start with the next steps, which will not take as long. Transfer to a plate.

In another skillet, over medium low, heat more oil, then saute kale.

Melt a little butter of choice in the skillet used for the caramelized onions. I keep the heat at medium low or low.

Lay both slices of bread down in the melted butter, layer on the cheese slices, then spread some harissa if using, then kale on one half and the onions on the other.

Cover with a lid and cook for about 5-7 minutes until the cheese is pretty gooey. Then fold one piece of bread onto the other and cook for a minute or two longer on each side until toasty and brown.

Slice in half and enjoy!

ALSO, if you have been loving my recipes then you I am so excited to share that my first ever cookbook Vegan Buddha Bowls is now available for order.

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WE WANT *THIS* MORE THEN WE WANT WEIGHT LOSS

I spent years living within the illusion that thinness and the perfect body would magically solve the riddle of my unhappiness.

I thought the confidence and empowerment I so craved was on the other side of a body covered in stretch marks, cellulite and jiggle, roll, jiggle.

I clinged onto this belief even though I would look back at pictures of myself when I was thinner and tighter and remember that even then, I wasn’t truly happy.

It wasn’t until I realized that I was trying to solve an internal dilemma with an external reality that things started to shift.

I realized that happiness is a state of mind, not a body size.

Real happiness doesn’t come from shedding pounds, it comes from shedding society’s expectations of your body.

And your life.

It comes from being in your truth, choosing your own path, and living life on your GD terms.

We don’t actually want thinness, thinness is a smoke screen, a distraction.

What we want is sovereignty, the ability to be assertive in our lives, to have the right to create our own path without the pressures to conform to society’s expectations of beauty and thinness.

What we want is to stop people pleasing.

The problem is we have been fed a lie that tells us the only way to have sovereignty is to have the perfect body.

And seeking sovereignty through external validation means we will always be at the whim of our circumstances, instead of being able to stand in our truth regardless of the storm arising outside of us.

And so we stay stuck, chasing thinness because we think it’s the only way to have the life we want.

But as we tirelessly pursue the shrinking of our body size, our life shrinks right along with it.

If you’ve read this far, I want to offer you this: you deserve happiness no matter what your body looks like.

And you can be happy no matter what you look like, if you are willing to source it from within instead from outside.

xo C

P.S. if you want support doing that, reach out to learn more about how I can help you!